The Cold Angry Hatred of the Truth
by Kraven Ergeist
Summary: Shinji saves Asuka from the 15th Angel, but does she want to be saved? Proof that, as a SxR fan, I can still write for SxA Shinji x Asuka


**Evangelion Fan Fiction**

The Cold Angry Hatred of the Truth 

By: Kraven Ergeist (Formerly known as Draco Delphinus)

Disclaimer: _You_ know I don't known Evangelion. _I_ know I don't own Evangelion. _Gainax_ sure as hell knows I don't own Evangelion. So there, it's settled, I don't own Evangelion. Now let's more on to bigger things, shall we?

xxxxx

She was probably the happiest little girl alive at that moment.

"Mama!" She cried. "Mama! They chose me!"

She ran, faster and faster. "I'll be an elite pilot! I'll defend Mankind! I'll be the best in the world!"

The door opened…

"I have to keep it a secret," she cried. "So I'll only tell you!"

The door opened…

"Everyone is being so nice to me now!" she exclaimed. "I won't have to be so lonely anymore!"

The door opened…

"I'm ok now!" she screamed. "Even without Papa!"

The door opened…

"So look!" she was crying at the top of her lungs. "Look at me!"

The door opened…

"Mama!" was her last word, before the gruesome sight greeted her eyes. Hanging by her neck was her mother. Dead, gone, killed by the rage of her madness. It was then that Asuka Langly Soryu received her eternal scar, one she would wear with her the rest of her life…

"Did you hear me, Asuka?" asked Misato from the operations panel. "Are you alright?"

Asuka opened her eyes. The image had been fresh in her mind since that day. And it had been getting worse. Every time she had spoke to anyone, her mind raced to find the right words to say, so that they would get the message that she didn't want to be touched. Not by anyone. For the last time someone had touched her…the last time she had gotten close to some one…she had left her.

"Yeah, Misato," she said. "I'm fine."

xxxxx

Rei observed the uncommonly silent second child they both proceeded to dress. Rei was unsure of how to interpret Asuka's recent behavior. Normally she would talk on about every insignificant thing. But now, she had become so silent, that Rei actually felt the need to press the issue.

"When there is something troubling you," Rei said. "It is best to let it out sooner rather than later."

Asuka turned sharply. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Rei did not change her pace of dress by a single second. "There is something troubling you, is there not?"

Asuka glared. "It's none of your business, First Child!"

Rei sighed. "Then, I shall let the matter rest, only to let it grow until it consumes you, Soryu. Be mindful of your feelings, whatever they may be. For I sense a great danger in their continued procedure."

Asuka shook. "Sh…shut up! You just shut up!"

Rei opened the door. "Goodbye." With that, she left her in the locker room.

Asuka sat down on the bench like her body weighed a thousand pounds. She began to cry, weeping in solitude.

Wiping her face, stood. "I can't let anyone see me like this. If they do…they'll only see me as a weak child. I…I've got to be better than that."

She stood up and finished dressing, and left.

xxxxx

Shinji silently cooked dinner. Misato slouched in her room. The faint sound of the answering machine droning over and over could be heard to the pricked ear. Asuka sat at the table, staring down at her lap, with her fingers laced together.

Shinji set plates on the table and served the steaming food. After pouring water for the both of them, he sat down.

"_Itadakemas_," he muttered, before taking meek little bites of food.

He had taken no more than four bites when Asuka simply burst.

"Why do you have to be so calm about things!" she yelled.

Shinji looked up at her. "What?"

"How do you do it, Shinji?" she demanded. "How do you play the meek obedient role at home, but at work, you do so well? How do you do it?"

Shinji stammered and looked around the room. "I…I, um…"

Asuka glared. "Well?"

Shinji slouched low. "Cause…it's all I have to do. Maybe…if I give up caring about every little thing, than it won't hurt so much."

Asuka tilted her head back. "That makes no sense."

Shinji shrugged. "I don't know what else to say."

Asuka sighed and left the table. "Why do I even bother?"

Shinji sat up. "You're leaving? What about your dinner?"

"I don't want it!" Asuka said, before shutting the door.

xxxxx

"Unit 02's signals all read normal," said the animatronic voice of the technician staff of NERV.

"Connection and fusion of EVA's are within normal limit," said another, female this time. "The field of proliferation is within expected limits."

Asuka stood before her EVA, in a mock stance of dominance. "You're just my doll, so move like I tell you to, and don't argue."

The EVA had no immediate response. Maybe it just wanted to think that remark over a bit.

"Why does a weapon need a mind?" Asuka asked. "It just gives you trouble."

Again, the EVA was silent.

"Anyway, you must obey my orders," Asuka said.

Again, silence.

Asuka perked her eyes. "This is stupid."

That's when the alarm sounded. "All personnel go to first stage alert. Prepare for aerial assault."

Asuka reared back. "An Angel? They're still coming?"

xxxxx

"Visual confirmation of the angel," said one of the technicians. The image on the screen went to maximum magnification, revealing a white winged creature in outer space.

As Hyuga studied his control panel, he spoke out his role. "It hasn't moved from orbit."

Shigeru did the same. "It's maintaining a constant distance from our position."

Misato stood tall, contemplating the situation. "So, does that mean it's looking for a place to land?" she asked. "Or is it going to destroy us from up there?"

Hyuga turned to her. "We can't attack it easily from this position."

Misato nodded. "Unless it comes within out range, there's nothing we can do about it. The EVA's can't destroy an enemy that's in orbit."

Turning to Maya, Misato asked, "What's Rei's situation?"

"She and unit 00 are in good condition," she reported.

"Understood," Misato said. "Sortie Unit 00. Prepare for extreme long range firing. Unit 02, Asuka, be ready to sortie as her back up"

The words hit her like daggers. _Be ready to sortie as her back up_. Like hell she would.

"Back up?" Asuka demanded. "Me? For unit 00?"

"That's right," said Misato. "Take the rear guard position."

"You can't be serious!" Asuka yelled. "EVA unit 02 launch!"

Unit 02 went springing into the city.

"Asuka!" yelled Ritsuko exclaimed.

"It's ok," Misato said. "Let her take the point if that's what she wants."

Hyuga was taken aghast. "Major Katsuragi?!"

Ritsuko looked stern. "If she fails this time, she won't be allowed to pilot any more."

Maya turned around. "You mean this is her last chance?"

Ritsuko leaned closer to her. "We'd better start making preparations to replace unit 02's pilot, just in case."

Maya sighed and turned back to her station. "Yes, ma'am."

Hyuga turned to Misato. "Excuse me, but aren't we going to sortie unit 01?"

Misato shook her head. "The commander just let it out of cold freeze. His orders are to keep it hear until we have no other choice."

Hyuga nodded. "Yes ma'am. But, just in case…?"

Misato nodded. "Prepare to sortie unit 01. Be ready Shinji. We don't know when we'll need you."

xxxxx

Unit 02 stood in the rain, waiting for her weapon to come up. A rather unnecessary warning alarm sounded, and a NERV positron rifle glided up, nose to the sky.

Gripping the gun, Asuka kept her stern face. "If I fail this time, they won't let me pilot again. You can't make any mistake this time, Asuka."

As Asuka targeted, she was getting more and more frustrated.

"Target is still out of range," the computer voice said.

"Why the hell are you so slow?" Asuka demanded. "Come on down, you lazy angel!"

Suddenly, her facial expression changed. A brilliant glare of ethereal light struck her suddenly. The light didn't bother her, though. But her mind…her mind…

Waning lights flashed underground as NERV sensors lit up to this new weapon.

"The Angel has a particle beam?" Misato demanded.

Hyuga racked through the sensors. "No. There are no thermal emissions detected."

Maya suddenly found some disturbing information. "We've got abnormal readings in her synch-graph. Mental contamination is on the verge of occurring!"

Ritsuko gasped as the saw what Maya saw. "The Angel is attempting a psychic attack? The Angels don't understand our minds that well!

Asuka clenched her eyes in pain. "God…damn!"

She let loose two rounds of positron blasts, both of them missing its target by a mile.

"Positrons dissipating!" a technician said.

"It's not working!" cried Shigeru. "The target is too far out of range!"

Out of desperation, Asuka fired, again and again, until the shots started impacting on the city itself. She fired and fired, until her trigger wouldn't do anything other than click.

"Unit 02 has run out of ammunition!" cried Shigeru.

Leaning over Hyuga's shoulder, Misato glared over. "What's the result of the beam analysis?"

Staring at Casper's mainframe, Hyuga answered, "It's an energy oscillation pattern on a visible wavelength! It's similar to an AT field, but we don't know much more!"

"How's Asuka?" asked a concerned Ritsuko.

"Her situation is critical! The mental contamination is crossing her Ego Borderline!"

Asuka reeled. "NO! Don't come into me!

Pain

Clutching her head, Asuka was on the verge of being crushed.

Hatred

All these emotions were suddenly filling her head

Menstruation

Shame

Double Suicide

Invader

Conformable

Without meaning or pattern, emotions simply flooded her mind without the slightest bit of mercy.

"Get out of my mind!" Asuka screamed. "Please! Don't rape my mind!"

"Asuka!" Misato screamed. "That's it! I'm sending Rei up!"

"No," said the commander, quite calmly.

"Sir!" Misato shouted. "I insist we do something about this!"

The commander smiled. "Rei has gone down to get the lance of Longinus. Send unit 01 up with Shinji."

Misato hesitated for a moment, before hitting the panel. "Shinji, just get her out. Avoid being hit by the beam, but your primary objective is getting her to the escape hatch. Rei will be up in a minute to finish the job."

Unit 01 immediately after launched itself up. As soon as it got out, Shinji bolted as fast as his EVA could.

"I've got to be quick about this," he said to himself. "Otherwise I might get caught too."

Had Shinji been allowed to hear what the people on the command deck heard, he'd be running for an entirely different reason.

What met Shinji's eyes, at first, didn't even appear to be unit 02. Its shape was so disoriented from spasming that it was hardly recognizable.

Shinji stopped for but a second, before running full gallop, diving into Asuka and taking her out of the beam.

Shinji would have gone for the escape hatch, when he saw unit 00, carrying what looked like a cross between a corkscrew and a spear.

"What…what is that thing?" Shinji asked no one.

Rei counted down the seconds before beginning her pace. With three, four, five steps, she launched the lance, splitting the sky, and lancing the angel like tissue paper.

"Wow," Shinji commented. "What was that thing?"

That's when the squirming mass in his arms began to move.

"Asuka?" he asked.

Without even answering, she made it to her EVA's feet. Her stare met with Rei's. Asuka's eyes suddenly crooked downward. "You…"

Before anyone could react, Asuka was hurling herself at Rei.

Rei did not so much as move, for right before Asuka would have reached her, she disappeared down an escape hatch.

Asuka pounded against the hatch. "Come back here, you bitch!"

The look on Asuka's face was bloodthirsty. Anyone looking at her would instantly assume she was mad. Not angry mad, but insanely mad. Her eyes were bloodthirsty; her face was riddled with sweat.

"Damn you!" she shouted. "Why! Why do you have to shove it in my face like that!?"

"Asuka!" Shinji cried, taking her EVA's hand. "We have to go back. I was sent up here to get you down."

Shinji was suddenly met with a punch in his EVA's face.

"And you!" Asuka shouted. "I can't believe you! I hate you!!"

Shinji rubbed his jaw. "Asuka…why'd you do that? I just saved you."

Asuka began to quake. "That's what I CAN'T STAND!"

She punched him again, in the gut. Unit 01 reeled back, clutching his stomach.

"Asuka, stop," he said. "Please, don't do this."

Asuka flung herself at him. "Damn you!"

She punched him in the face, sending his EVA toppling over.

By now, the people in the control center were beside themselves with surprise. "Asuka, what are you doing? You're assaulting your own comrade!"

When they got no response, the order was given to cut her power source.

The plug fell to the ground. Asuka turned back to the plug and said, "Oh, no you don't!"

She grabbed the plug and stuck in her EVA's back so hard, that it crippled into place.

"External power source has been reinstated. The plug is jammed in. We can't cut it."

Misato slammed her fist to the panel. "Damn it, Asuka! Stop acting like a child!"

No response.

"Is there any other way to cut her power?" Misato demanded.

"Negative," was the response from Hyuga. "The only other way would be to shut down the whole facility."

Misato glared at the screen. "Dammit…"

Asuka lunged at unit 01 repeatedly. Shinji was doing the best he could to protect himself. His arms were fastened over his chest to minimize the damage. "Asuka, please stop!"

Asuka glared. "Not this time, third child. This time, I get my way."

Shinji glared at her, as she punched him again. "Why are you doing this?!"

Asuka exploded, kicking him to the ground. "Why?! You want to know why!? You don't do shit for yourself when we're at home! You're so self depreciating that it makes me want to barf."

"So that's why you're mad?" Shinji asked.

"But you know what gets me?" Asuka demanded, picking him up and slamming him against a building. "That despite it all, you still manage to beat me in EVA! How do you do it?! How could you do it to me!?"

Shinji shouted back. "You think I'm _trying_ to hurt you? Do you think that anything I do is with your worst interests in mind?"

Asuka shook herself. "It doesn't matter if you mean it or not. What matters to me is that it happened."

Asuka punched him again. When Shinji tried to block her, she broke his EVA's arm.

"Agh!" Shinji screamed. Clutching his wrist, he glared. "Fine then, I'll stop being a good EVA pilot. Is that what you want?! You want to pretend that you're better than me in everything? The world doesn't work like that!"

Asuka began to cry. "I…I know that." Stepping back, she shook. Looking back up at him, her EVA's eyes opened. "And THAT'S WHY I CAN'T STAND IT!"

She delivered a soaring punch that sent Shinji slamming into the far building. The force, the lack of power, and the cringing pain wasn't bad enough, but his EVA, at that moment, shut itself down.

Shinji was still able to talk to Asuka. "Asuka, I'm begging you. Stop this…" Shinji stuttered, his body quivering in pain.

"Too late, third child," Asuka stepped towards him, menacingly. "I'm fed up with your ways. And your word isn't good enough."

Shinji clutched his eyes. Thoughts went through his head. One of them being the repeated phrase, _I mustn't run away…I mustn't run away…_

But that's when he heard another voice in his head. _If your word isn't good enough, then maybe mine is…_

It took a little while for Shinji to process just what went down just then. But then he came to a realization. "_Iie_!!"

Unit 01 came back to life.

xxxxx

"Ma'am! Unit 01 has reactivated!" came the startled voice of Shigeru.

"What?" Misato cried. "On no power? Oh my god…" Patching a communication with unit 02, he screamed. "Asuka, get out of there!"

Asuka glared. "Don't mess with me any more, Misato. I've had it with you."

Misato's face was the epitome of worry. "Asuka, for your own sake, get out of there!"

Asuka ignored her and faced unit 01. "So, the brat finally decided to face me."

Unit 01 bent it's legs, its artificial kneecaps extending outward. With all the angelic strength it could muster, it leapt into the air, flipping over forwards, and landed right in front of Asuka.

Before the girl could react, unit 01 was gone.

"What?!" she screamed, before a huge blow caught her from behind, sending her flying forward. "How'd he get behind me?!"

Turning to face him, she was met with the image of unit 01 running at a demon like speed towards her.

Asuka moved to strike it, but he was gone in an instant. Unit 01 had moved aside, and struck her from the side.

"How does he move like that?!" Asuka demanded.

Misato was tense the whole time. However, it was about then that she just simply sat back in her chair.

"Ma'am?" asked Hyuga. "Is there nothing we can do?"

"Throughout her entire career," Misato began, "Asuka has never given Shinji any respect at his commendable abilities. I think it's time she understood the full capabilities of his berserker."

Maya, Hyuga and everyone on the bridge simply gasped at Misato. She just calmly sat back, her eyes closed and arms folded.

Unit 01 struck Asuka hard in the chest. The blow sent Unit 02 flying backward, slamming into another building, and leaving a significant scar to the building.

Asuka cringed at the impact, and looked up with an insane glare on her face. Her face then showed a distinct amount of fear, as unit 01 simply charged her. Slamming into her, the berserker simply pushed her through the building, and into a second.

All the while, Shinji was screaming. "No! Stop! Stoppit! Stoppit!"

Unit 01 would not listen to him. It was her job to protect her pilot. And right then, Asuka was a threat to his life. But Shinji still screamed. "Stop, please! Please, don't do this! Don't hurt her! Don't kill her!"

Asuka tried to fight back. Taking a swing with her fist, her arm met unit 01's grip. Squeezing her unit's arm, 01 broke it easily.

"Agh!" Asuka screamed.

The sound met Shinji's ear. "NOOOO!!"

Unit 01 grabbed 02's face. In a matter of seconds, it began to crumble in its grasp.

Asuka clutched her face in pain. "Damn you…"

Unit 01 drew its progressive knife and slashed at her chest plate. It cut deeper and deeper, until the core of unit 02 was visible.

Shinji saw the core before his eyes. He felt the EVA pull back to stab her. He screamed.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

The knife flew at her, until it suddenly stopped, hovered inches above unit 02's core. Asuka was long since unconscious. Unit 01 stood still for a few moments, and then quietly shut down.

A few minutes later, teams were sent up to get them back down to the Geo-Front. Unit 01's hatch opened. Misato was the one to look inside to see Shinji. He was curled up in a ball.

"Hey, Shinji?" Misato called, trying to be cheerful.

He didn't answer. Misato looked suspicious and approached the boy. When she got close enough to his face, she heard him.

"What? What are you saying? I can't make it out?" she leaned in closer.

"…Don't kill her, don't kill her, don't kill her, don't kill her, don't kill her…"

xxxxx

Things were pretty brutal after that. Asuka was placed in a holding cell for the longest time. It was maybe two weeks later when Misato stepped in.

"What are you doing here?" Asuka demanded.

"Don't give me that, Asuka. You know damn well why I'm here," Misato said.

"If you want me to apologize, than you're wasting your time," Asuka shot back.

"An apology wouldn't hurt, but I'm not the one who you should be apologizing to," Misato said.

Asuka glared at her. "You want me to give some sympathy to that wimp?"

Misato glared back. "'That wimp' nearly killed you, Asuka. I'm not saying he should have, but you have no right to call him that. Not after what's happened."

"Fine," Asuka said. "It doesn't make a difference. I bet he's at home right now, sulking. Besides…" Asuka said, remembering the Angel's invasion. "I've got more important things to be worrying about."

_Ouch_, Misato thought. _He really _is_ at home, sulking._ "I'll tell you one thing, though."

Asuka looked up. "Hm?"

"You're not going to be punished," Misato said.

"Huh? Why?" Asuka said, not expecting that.

"Shinji wouldn't allow it," Misato put it, simply.

"What? Why not?" Asuka asked. "I would think that he'd be the first person to want me in trouble."

"The commander was about to have you kicked out of NERV, send you back to Germany, cut all ties, and possibly ruin your life. But Shinji…he just…wouldn't allow it."

Asuka cringed. "I…I can't believe…that little _sweinhund_! I even need his protection to save my career!"

Misato shouted back at her. "That's because you're acting like a little kid! Do you realize what you did? You assaulted one of your own comrades on the battlefield. In any country, that's grounds for insubordination, and punishable by death! And he forgives you! If there's anything wrong with him, it's his kind heart. Do you think anyone wouldn't turn there back to you after something like that!? Huh?!"

Asuka cringed. Unexpected to the major, she broke down and started to cry. "Why do I need him? Why am I so incapable that I need someone like him to take pity on me? Why!?"

Misato softened up. "He's not taking pity on you, Asuka. He really cares about you. Wouldn't you do the same for him if the same thing was happening to him?"

Asuka stuttered. "Yeah…no…I don't know what to think!"

Misato put her hand on Asuka's shoulder. "I heard what you said. About how he could act like such a wimp at home, but still manages to master the Evangelion. Do you know why that is?"

Asuka shook her head.

"It's because he has nothing else to hope for," Misato said. "Everything he's ever turned to has always let him down. But when he heard those words from his father: "Good work." It was like a beckoning to him. Asuka, I think praise is more valuable to him than it is to you. I try to give it as often as I can. But it doesn't amount to anything compared to his father's. And the way he gets it from his father is by being a good EVA pilot. So all he has to turn to is this machine that not even the best scientists understand. And you know something else?"

Asuka shook her head.

"When he finally fought back against you…that wasn't _him_ fighting," Misato said.

Asuka caught her breath.

"Why do you think he's so valuable a pilot, Asuka? It's not because of his synch rate or his skill. It's the fact the he can synchronize best with unit 01. And unit 01, when brought to full potential, is the most formidable EVA of them all. Did you ever see the videos from his first fight?"

Asuka shook her head. "No…"

Misato smiled. "Come with me…"

Misato took her out of the cell and lead her to a small room with a video screen. She took a tape and slid it into the slot. "Now, watch carefully…"

Asuka saw as EVA unit 01 was launched to the city to fight Sachiel, the third Angel. He tried walking and managed a single step. He tried for a second, and fell flat on his face.

That was all he managed to do before the Angel picked him up by the face, broke his arm, and smashed his eye through. After being sent careening into a building, Unit 01 went silent.

Asuka watched in silence as the EVA came to life again. It flipped over and landed knees first on the angel. It flipped over it again, and reared back to face it. Lunging after it, unit 01 ran into its AT field.

That's when unit 01 regenerated its arm. Asuka gasped. "Hey, that's…"

The berserker plunged its fingers deep into the AT field, and split it open. Then, it grabbed both the Angel's arms, and broke them simultaneously. Then, delivering a powerful kick, he ripped the arms off entirely.

The angel went flying backwards until it hit another building. The EVA galloped after it, and slammed into it hard. So hard, it took the building along for the ride.

"Seem familiar, Asuka?" asked Misato.

"That's…" she muttered.

Unit 01 began smashing the core, until it decide to rip off a piece of the angel and use it as a tool for chipping the core. Angel's eyes lit, and it wrapped its arms around the EVA. It's core glowing, it blew into a cross-like explosion.

Unit was then seen walking slowly out of the ruble, one eye dead, and the others, gleaming as angrily as a demon.

That's when the movie clicked off. "The point I'm trying to make is…" Misato said, "Shinji wasn't controlling any of that. His EVA is the only one that can go into berserker mode. His is the only one that has the potential to run without power, and become a fighting machine that's simply unstoppable. Even to the pilot. Do you know what, Asuka?"

Asuka looked up at her.

"When I opened the hatch and saw him, he was begging his EVA not to kill you. _Begging_, Asuka. He was just repeating over the phrase "Don't kill her" over again."

Asuka's eyes flew open. "He was…trying to save me?"

"So you see, Asuka, he's not important because he's better than you. He's important because unit 01 will only accept him. Sometimes it will accept Rei, but recently, tests have shown that it won't any more. Shinji is the only one who can pilot it best, and you know why?"

Asuka's eyes were shining with an uncomfortable fear. "W…why?"

"You've heard about the accident with unit 01 and Shinji's mother right?" Misato said.

Asuka nodded.

"Well, according to Ritsuko, Yui Ikari wasn't killed in the accident. She became part of unit 01."

Asuka gasped. "You mean…?"

Misato nodded. "Yes. Shinji's mother's soul is in his EVA."

Asuka lowered her head. "So of course he's a good pilot. He's piloting under his mothers care."

Misato shook her head. "It's really as simple as that."

"So I've been jealous over nothing?" Asuka looked back up at Misato.

Misato placed her hand on her shoulder. "Asuka…there is nothing more important to Shinji than acceptance from others. Right now, Asuka, he really needs your acceptance."

Asuka looked up. "Huh?"

"You need to make a choice here, Asuka," Misato went on. "Shinji saved your life, and he forgives you for everything you've ever done. The question is, are you going to be jealous about it, or are you going to thank him for it?"

Misato left the room. "You're free to go. Please make the right choice."

Asuka sat there for a moment before kneeling and sobbing into her hands.

xxxxx

Shinji's door opened. Shinji was curled up into a ball. He could make out Asuka's silhouette from her shadow. His face turned into a scowl.

"Shinji?" came an uncommonly soft voice from Asuka. "Wake up…"

"I'm not asleep," said Shinji.

"I know…" Asuka said, stepping over to him. She sat down at the foot of his bed. They sat there like that for several minutes before anyone said anything. Just sitting.

Asuka sighed. "Well, I-"

"Asuka?" Shinji interrupted, sitting up suddenly in bed.

"What?" she asked.

"Did…anything happen to you?" Shinji asked. "After you got out of the EVA? You didn't…get punished or anything, right?"

Asuka looked sadly at him. "No…"

Shinji sighed. "Good." He lay back down.

Asuka began quivering. "How can you be so sympathetic to me after everything I've done to you?"

"It's…kind of hard to explain, Asuka," Shinji said. "It's like…being…separated from everyone like this…it makes it so…I don't…really have to feel like this is my life. Like what I'm living is just a big joke, and it's not really what's going on. But…even when I do that…I still feel bad when someone suffers because of me. So I…do whatever I can…to make it better…somehow."

Asuka sighed. "I guess it's too late to say I'm sorry."

Shinji shook his head, "It's really ok, Asuka."

"How can you say it's ok?" she yelled. "It's terrible! Shinji, you're never going to have a life until you learn to accept what's true. Things are bad! That's the way they are!"

Shinji shook his head. "I don't blame you for anything."

Asuka sighed. "You should."

Shinji looked back at her.

Asuka stared at him hard. "Do you have any idea what it's like? To have every bad memory from your past simply thrust into your face?"

Shinji sighed. "More than you know?"

"What?" she responded.

Shinji closed his eyes. "If you're really hurt by the bad memories, than that must mean that you've had good memories too."

Asuka gasped. "Come on, Shinji! You can't tell me you've never had one good memories before?"

Shinji sighed. "Ever since my father left me…I've never had a single good memory."

Asuka leaned towards him. "What if…your father accepted you? Would you feel better then?"

Shinji looked up "Absolutely. But that's never going to happen. You've heard the commander speak before. He treats Rei better than he treats me."

Asuka looked shocked. "That's terrible." Looking back at him, she said, "So that's why you lock yourself away? Because you just hate reality?"

Shinji shut his eyes. "Yeah, that's just it. That's just what I am, right? Shinji Ikari: The cold angry hatred of the truth."

Asuka looked sadly at him. "What if…what if _I_ accepted you? Would that make you feel better?"

Shinji looked back at her. "You…you'd do that?"

Asuka nodded. "Shinji…I've never met anyone like you before. And I've come to know you so well, that…well, I just couldn't imagine my life without you."

That one comment made Shinji blush.

Asuka scowled. "Don't get all shy on me now."

Shinji lowered his eyes. "Sorry."

Asuka took his face in her hands. "If I do…you have do one thing for me, though."

Shinji looked a little worried. "What?"

Asuka smiled. "Stop apologizing all the time. You think that everything's your fault. You blame yourself for everything. Honestly, it needs to stop."

Shinji looked at her for a while. Then he smiled too. "And you…do this for me."

"What?" Asuka inquired.

"Stop pretending that nobody cares about you," Shinji said. "We all care about you, Asuka. We're not all out to get you or something. We're in this together, all right?"

Asuka looked at him and sighed. "Alright."

With that, they both fell into each other's arms, tears of joy falling down their faces. They held each other tightly, until Asuka said, "Shinji?"

He looked at her. "Yes?"

Asuka smiled quaintly at her. "Th…thank you."

Shinji smiled back. "Of course."

Asuka then kissed him briefly on the lips, before getting up and standing quietly by the door. "Good night, Shinji."

She left quickly, rather embarrassed about all that.

Shinji stared at the door where she had left. He then smiled and lay back down in his bed. "Asuka…I think now…I'll have a happy memory to look back on."

The End

xxxxx

Well, there you have it. Even though I prefer Shinji x Rei fics, I wrote this just to prove I can accept an S/A pairing.

So what do you think of the overall storyline? I was getting rather tired of all those fics where Shinji and Asuka are secretly in love with each other and refuse to admit it. That's SO OLD! The way I made it, they each solve each other's problems.

But then they all die in EoE, so what's the point of it all?

Heh, heh, heh, just razzing you.

I'm out.


End file.
